The biggest tests of love and loyalty are failure and success.  If we ever wanted to know where our true supporters are, we should either try living successfully or failing miserably.

 

Our lives are probably the most difficult to assess during the status quo—those moments where our daily routines are nothing short of monotonous.  It’s usually when life’s pendulum swings to either side that we typically get a clearer understanding of our lives and our relationships with others.  When times are really great, or really bad, we tend to learn who is really in our corner, or who is simply taking up space.

 

Imagine any one of the following scenarios.  We finally landed a great mate, but instead of being happen, our single friend is secretly resentful.  We got a promotion at work, but our so-called best friend can’t muster up the energy to be happy for us.  We got our heart broken, but the friend with whom we cried with until 3 a.m. in the morning after her break up can’t pretend to be interested long enough to listen to us vent.  Sounds familiar?  The scenarios might not be exactly the same, but they are probably resonating.

 

Nothing reveals an individual’s true feeling towards us more clearly than his or her reactions to us in our moments of need and celebration.  True friends understand that, for the most part, life is typically inconvenient.  Wouldn’t it be great if we all experienced our happiness and sadness simultaneously?  No, not really!  The truth is, our greatest victories might come at the height of someone’s biggest disappointment.  However, that should not be a hindrance for celebration.  Sometimes we have to learn to celebrate others even when our lives are seemingly in shambles.  The opposite is also true.  Sometimes, we have to pause our celebration to embrace someone who is hurting.  Why?  That’s what true friends do.

 

A few years ago, I read a quote by Mya Angelou.  She said, “When people tell you who they are, believe them.”  For many of us who have experienced, what I will call, serial disappointments in our relationships, we have to be honest with ourselves and admit that, oftentimes, the writing is usually on the wall way ahead of time.  Typically, in relationships, most people make incremental revelations of their character throughout the course of a relationship.  Seldom do people “flip the script” and act completely out of character.  If we are truthful with ourselves, we would probably admit that the terminal behavior (the straw that broke the camel’s back) is not a new revelation.  With that being said, we have to admit that being disappointed or betrayed, regardless of the foreshadowing, is hurtful.

 

As hurtful as it might be to lose a friend, we have to learn that not every relationship is meant to go the distance.  There are times in our lives when God is doing a new thing and He has to clean house in order to take us to a new level.  Sometimes, we need to be pruned, and that pruning needs to be done in isolation.  Think about the Biblical story of the Israelites.  When God made them into a great nation, He did so in isolation.  It wasn’t until the Israelites had grown into a great many that the Egyptians took notice.

 

As hard as it is, we should be thankful for the people whom God has allowed to leave our lives.  If they cannot support, embrace or console us, what purpose do they really serve other than taking up space?  The dream that God has place on our hearts is too big to be bogged down with frivolity.  We need people who can be champions with us on our journey towards our purpose.

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