One of my favorite books on relationships that came out a few years ago is, “He’s Just Not That Into You.” While I don’t believe this book is the sole gospel on dating relationships, the author, Greg Behrendt, did hit the nail on the head with a few interesting factoids.  Essentially, a guy might be into you, but he might not be THAT into you.  So what does that mean, and how could you apply that to your life?  Before I answer this question, I must preface it by saying that I am no more an expert than was the author of the above mentioned book, but I do know what God says in His word.  With that said, here goes.

So what does it mean that a guy might be into you, but not THAT into you?  There are so many examples that I could list, but I will narrow it down to a few.  A guy might think that you are the best catch (e.g. smart, beautiful, sexy, funny, successful, great personality, Godly) since Eve (slight humor), but for his own reasons, he is not interested in pursuing you.  The first mistake that many women make is that they internalize the guy’s behavior and interpret his actions as a deficit in their worth.  The truth is, his failure to see your worth is his issue, not yours.  Whether he is intimidated, insecure, lazy, not ready or plainly uninterested, is not your issue, it’s really his.  The follow-up question to this assertion is: Are you willing to continuously audition for a man’s affection?  If he, for WHATEVER reason(s), cannot independently see your worth, are you willing to attempt to perpetually prove yourself worthy?  If you value and respect yourself, your answer should be “no.”  Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God’s masterpiece.  Here is the thing that I have noticed about art: Not every piece of artwork is for everyone.  For example, there are those who like abstraction and those who like realism.   The individuals who are attracted to a particular style of artwork will be drawn to the masterpiece suited to their taste, and they will appreciate its beauty and value more so than someone who does not like that particular style.  If we are all God’s masterpieces we should then know that we are all beautiful, but we might not appeal to everyone’s palate.

The second biblical reference that I would like to draw from to determine whether a guy is “into you” or “not THAT into you” is also found in Ephesians.  Ephesian 5:28 says that a man should love his wife like Christ loves the Church.  If the guy you are with or interested in is not showing you or treating you with Christ-like love, he is just not THAT into you, or better yet, he might not be FOR you.  A guy who is truly into you and FOR you would take the time to respect and honor you in a manner that would be deemed Christ-like.  Being Christ-like in no way implies perfection, but it does dictate a certain moral character and integrity.

The final example that I want to present is a rather important, but often overlooked point.  It is possible that a guy might be not THAT into you RIGHT NOW.  The book of Ecclesiastes says that there is a season for everything.  Life is all about timing.  Everything comes together in God’s perfect timing.

In our society, there is so much pressure placed on women to develop their worth through their relationship status.  However, singleness is not a curse.  In fact, it is a blessing.  It is a time to pursue the passions that God has placed on your heart.  It is a time to discover who you are and who you would like to be.  There is nothing wrong with having a healthy relationship, but we sometimes place so much value on partnership, that we neglect the development of individuality, which is essential for a successful relationship.  It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone else if you cannot master a relationship with God and yourself.  During your single days, discover who God is and who you are.  Take yourself and Jesus on dates.  Learn your likes and dislikes.  Oftentimes, we get into relationships and expect others to fulfill our needs when we don’t truly know what our needs are because we’ve never spent enough time alone to figure out who we are and what we want.  Enjoy your time alone.  Enjoy where you are today.  Live in the moment! Everything will fall in place in due season.

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